


Paternal Instincts

by EdgyCircle



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: M/M, Paternal Instinct, Platonic Relationships, parental instincts
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-07
Updated: 2020-04-20
Packaged: 2021-03-01 17:41:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,079
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23530996
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EdgyCircle/pseuds/EdgyCircle
Summary: Patton has paternal instincts and treats Virgil like a baby. Virgil doesn't know what's going on.DISCONTINUED
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders & Morality | Patton Sanders, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders & Morality | Patton Sanders, Logic | Logan Sanders & Morality | Patton Sanders, Morality | Patton Sanders & Everyone, Moxiety
Comments: 18
Kudos: 93





	1. Good Morning

Paternal instincts hit harder on some days than others. It was usually around a time whenever Thomas saw kids out in public just playing around and enjoying being innocent. Patton watched longingly while interacting with kids, waiting for the parents to pick them up and leave because some weird guy was staring at their kids.

Logan was used to looking out for these things and would turn Thomas around whenever he saw children or was looking at them for too long. After all, he didn’t want to have yet another conversation with Patton about how they were nowhere near prepared for a baby when they didn’t even have a boyfriend. These parental instincts clouded Patton so much that while he knew they couldn’t, he still talked to Logan about it every time.

The worst part about these pesky paternal instincts was how it made Patton focus in on one side and treat them more or less like a baby. Logan didn’t mind it all that much other than when Patton bothered him a lot more than usual, and Roman didn’t really mind it at all. He loved his hair being brushed and his talents being applauded and being fed while he worked. Virgil hadn’t been around for long enough for the random selection of Patton's instincts to focus on him up until that morning.

Patton woke up feeling an emptiness inside of him and a very strong urge to see Virgil. Usually Patton respected Virgil's privacy but he just wanted to check on his little dumpling, even if his room made him anxious.

So without knocking, Patton entered Virgil's room as quietly as he could and looked over Virgil's sleeping form. He had never seen Virgil sleep before despite him always looking tired. Virgil lay on his back with his arms crossed over his chest almost looking exactly like a corpse if his mouth hadn’t been open. Patton giggled a little bit and brushed his hand through his hair very gently. 

Virgil was unsettled and stirred a little bit, leaning away from his hand before his eyes opened slowly like a century old cellar door. He didn’t get the chance to react before Patton was speaking softly even though he was trembling lightly. “Oh good morning, Virgil. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you up.”

Virgil sat up trying to collect himself,”Wh- Patton? What are you doing here? I don’t think I was having a nightmare..” He thought that maybe he was sleeping so well that he didn’t hear Patton knock on his door like he usually did.

Patton giggled again,”Oh I was just checking on you. You’re so cute.” He said and poked his nose. Virgil noticed that there was something different in Patton's eyes. A look of complete adoration and devotion so strong that he barely really felt like Patton...maybe it was just his room.

Virgil yawned, showing off his sharp teeth,”Okay...well, you should probably..you know..leave here pretty soon.” he rubbed his eye.

“Right, but just let me set out your clothes for the day really quick.” He was already headed towards Virgil's dresser,”And then we can have breakfast and I’ll run you a bath and you can get dressed in these clothes and I’ll brush your hair and everything! I could even wash you in the bath if you wouldn't mind.” he offered.

Virgil was heavily confused as he watched Patton go through his clothes with more awake senses. He didn’t think that Patton acted like this yesterday. Did he do something that made Patton concerned for him? Did Patton have a nightmare about Virgil and that’s why he was acting like this? He was too busy thinking about it that he almost didn’t register what Patton was saying and just said an automatic yes. His face reddened,”Uh, no, I’ll be fine on my own, thanks, Pop.”

Patton shuddered at the name, it obviously made him very happy. Happier than usual. He turned to him with a big smile,”That’s okay! What do you want for breakfast? And then I’ll be out of your hair.”

Virgil wanted to answer quickly so that Patton would leave his room without getting too anxious so he just said the first thing he thought of,”Uh, scrambled eggs and bacon.” Patton clasped his hands together, setting his clothes on the bed,”Okie dokie, then! I’ll see you downstairs.” he went to kiss Virgil's head and Virgil accepted it, watching him leave. He sighed to himself, was he going to be like this all day? Maybe he was just overreacting. He wasn’t used to anyone caring for him so much, after all. Maybe Patton did this with the others, too, and had only just started doing it for Virgil because..?  
\-----------------------

Virgil stepped downstairs quietly, trying to peek in on Patton to see if he was acting the same as he usually did with everyone else. Maybe Deceit was impersonating him again. But he did as he usually did, pouring Logan's coffee for him as Logan read at the table. Still the same. Light cream, no sugar other than the kiss he pressed onto Logans cheek. That was a bit out of the ordinary but Logan didn’t act like it was. He just kept turning the pages in his book and thanked Patton for the coffee. Maybe it was normal. Logan did like to hide these kinds of things, like his onesie.

Virgil could smell and see that he was making what Virgil had said along with the usual toast that Logan just had to have. Was it Virgil's birthday? No.. at least he was pretty sure. Some kind of anniversary? But wouldn’t Patton be talking about it and making cake?

Roman just walked past Virgil on the stairs, not questioning why he was basically spying. He wasn’t hurting anyone by being a little creepy and he was too tired to tease him about it for now. He just went to sit at the table where he usually did and rub his eyes while Patton got him his usual cup of orange juice.

“Are you feeling okay, Roman?” Patton asked and felt his head. Roman hummed and yawned,”Yes, I’m fine. Only more tired than I usually am for some reason.”

Logan tutted,”Oh yes,’for some reason’ such as getting distracted with your music and drawings.” Roman pursed his lips,”Fine, I guess I did get a little distracted, but you’ve gotten distracted with your work, too, Dr. Franken-whine.” 

“Oh if anyone whines, it’s you.”  
“Nuh uh! That’s Virgil's job.”

Virgil huffed a little. At least Roman was aware of Virgil's observance so it wasn’t really talking bad about him behind his back.

But Patton didn’t know that. And it was a rare moment where Patton got mad. It wasn’t too intimidating. His face would just get red and he would do things like walk and shut things a bit rougher but not too much. “Roman!” Patton scolded,”Virgil is one of the most important ones here!” 

This was a bit out of the ordinary, but Roman never really talked behind his back anymore. Roman just sighed,”Fine.” and Patton crossed his arms,”Go to your room.”. Roman made a surprised noise,”What? It’s not like he’s not her-” 

“Go to your room!” Patton raised his voice only a little. Roman huffed and went back to the stairs while Patton rested his hands on his hips. Logan decided not to say anything and just observe for now, sensing that something was out of the ordinary.

Patton did, however, spot Virgil on the stairs while he watched Roman go up. He softened back into how he was in Virgil's room and his voice was coated in honey again,”Virgil! Aw, what’re you doing there, silly? Come here.” he said, gesturing with his hands.

Virgil blushed and sighed, making his way over to him and getting a hug from Patton while he stroked his hair and kissed his head,”Virgey Virgey Virgey. I missed you.”

Virgil's eyes drifted over to Logan and he could tell that he was trying not to stare. Virgil's face reddened,”I-I um..missed you too?” he said and stayed still as Patton kissed his head and face.  
“Oh that makes me so happy to hear. Breakfast is almost ready.”  
“Ah..cool.”


	2. Explanations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Virgil, after much embarrassment, finally gets an explanation.

While Patton was cooking he constantly made sure that Virgil had everything that he needed. He had already set him up with a blanket around his shoulders and chocolate milk even though he knew that Virgil usually drank coffee. Logan hadn't said anything about it but did give Virgil a knowing look that he didn't return.

Virgil looked down into the milk and sucked on the straw in thought. He must have done something that made Patton concerned. That was why Logan knew what was happening and Roman was sent to his room. He guessed he would just have to bring it up to Patton when they were in private. 

A plate of scrambled eggs and bacon were put in front of him with a smile, but Logan was allowed to get his own food. Virgil looked up to thank him but was met with the sight of a spoonful of eggs. "Patton..?" He questioned.

Patton kept on smiling. "I just wanna make sure that you're eating enough! Now say ahh." He said, prompting the spoon closer.

Virgil shook his head,"No, no..I'm eating enough, Patton. I don't need you to do this.." he averted his eyes.  
"Awe, there's no reason to be embarrassed, honey! It's just you and me."  
Virgil shook his head again. "No..Logans here and- and I just want to do it myself, okay?" He said softly.  
"Well, if that's what you want." Patton said and set the spoon down for him. "Now eat up." He said, lifting a piece of his own bacon and pretending to eat it like Virgil didn't know what he meant by telling him to eat.

Was this mocking? That wasn't in Patton's nature. He started to eat anyway and refrained from making eye contact. Patton ate his own food, too, but would wipe Virgil's mouth if he got any spots.

Logan still didn't say anything. He had honestly thought that Virgil knew what was happening, so he didn't explain it to him. When Logan was done he got up and left to his room with a thank you to Patton.

Seeing the opportunity, Virgil thought of how to phrase his asking,"I- Patton..are you okay?" He asked.  
Patton smiled,"I'm great. You don't need to worry about me. Even though it is sweet of you." He poked his nose again.  
Virgil huffed a bit in frustration,"Well, it's just that you're acting a lot different than you usually do..Im feeling just fine, too, you know?"  
"Oh, that?" Patton giggled,"I just love you so much, Virgey. And I want to make sure that you have everything you need." Patton assumed that Virgil was done eating and scooted over to pat his back. Virgil felt a little guilty. "Oh..well..I guess..you can do that..'' he said softly. Who would he be to deny Patton's affection?

"That's great to hear." Patton said and kept feeding himself with his free hand. "I have to take Romans food to him in a minute, but then I can go and run your bath for you." 

Virgil was going to say that Patton didn't have to do that, but he felt a burp bubble up in his chest and he muffled it the best he could with his hand. He didn't get a chance to excuse himself before Patton was clapping happily,"That was a good one!" And he stopped patting his back.

Virgils face redenned. Patton had been trying to burp him that entire time! And it worked! Virgil hid his face in his sleeve and Patton giggled. "You can go and watch TV now until your bath is ready. I'll take care of everything."

Virgil could only nod, being overwhelmed with embarrassment. His cool, mysterious aesthetic was being thrown out the window and he didn't know what to do about it...but Patton does seem happy doing this. And it was out of love. He thought about it while sitting on the couch even though he knew he should probably go to Logan to get it explained to him. He didn't want to risk being embarrassed in front of the others, though. He could practically feel the other dark sides smirk at all of this. They could appear at any moment and just laugh at him. 

But he couldn't help but feel ungrateful at the same time. He groaned and laid back on the couch, curling up in thought.

\-----------------

Patton brought the plate of food up to Romans room and knocked in his own rhythm. Each of them had their own unique way of knocking so that everyone knew who was asking to come in. "Roman? You can come out now. I've got breakfast for you." 

Roman opened the door but was still pouty, crossing his arms but taking the plate. "Well, I could have left any time I wanted. I just didn't feel like it." He said stubbornly. Patton smiled softly at him,"Of course. I might have overreacted. It's just that I love Virgil so much and I don't like people talking bad about him...you know that."

"Yes yes, I understand. But I wasn't saying anything behind his back, I assure you. Virgil was watching you and Logan in the kitchen while you were making breakfast. I was just being...teasing. I thought he might come out." He started to eat while standing. Patton tilted his head.  
"Aw. You think he was too nervous to go into the kitchen? He was kinda tense.. I think I might've made him worry about me. I dont know what I did, but I think we mightve solved it..I dunno. My mind gets so clouded when I'm around him today."  
Roman raised an eyebrow, thinking he might've understood what was happening. "Pat...is this about when we went to get ice cream with our friends and we bought that kid another ice cream after they dropped theirs? That shy teenager?"   
Patton smiled at the memory,"Oh they were so precious. And I could tell we made them happy. I've been thinking about that a lot, yeah, but I don't see what it has to do with this."

Roman contemplated telling Patton that it was just his instinct kicking in with Virgil, but wasn't too sure about it. He knew that he should tell Virgil, though. "Oh, nothing. Just go on with you, I have to do something." Patton giggled,"Okay." And he went to the bathroom to run the bath for Virgil.

Roman went downstairs to see Virgil in the position that he had known himself, being confidence and all. The curl of humiliation. It was kind of funny to think of what must have happened before in order for Virgil to get to this state.  
"Hey, Virgil."

Virgil startled and sat up,”Oh, Princey, yeah, what?” he tried to rub the blush off of his face.  
“I’m not going to make fun of you. First of all, I didn’t even see anything to make fun of, unfortunately, and secondly you need to bear through this.”  
“Through what?”  
“Through Patton.” 

Virgil obviously looked confused and sputtered a bit but Roman interrupted. “It’s his instinct, V. Like whenever you grow bigger during big worry time, or when Logan pulses during a headache. This is what Patton does.” he tried to explain.  
“He...what exactly is it that he’s doing?”  
“Parenting. And I think I figured out that it’s not so random who he chooses after all. Remember the ice cream teen?”

Virgil nodded,”Yeah, I remember. So he chose to do this to me for his instinct?”  
“Oh don’t get too excited. My theory is that it depends on the type of kid that he sees. He doesn’t consciously do any of this. But you do have to deal with it, now.”

Virgil stiffened,”Wh-Why do I have to deal with it?! Can’t his instincts go pick someone else?! I’m not...I don’t..”  
“You don’t what?”   
Virgil took a deep breath. It sounded stupid and childish,”...feel...cool.”

Roman just laughed,”Oh, Virgil. Of course you don’t feel dignified. Usually this passes in a day or two. Just deal with it until it’s over and try not to upset him. Then you can go back to being as edgy as your heart desires! But right now our heart desires you. And you have to take it for the team. After all, you wouldn’t want to be the reason for Patton's tears, would you?”

Virgil sighed,”No..” He thought about it and hummed,”Fine. Just as long as you and Logan stay in your rooms while all this is happening. And try to keep you brother and his friend away for me.”

Roman hummed,”Okay. And I’ll find a way that you can pay me back later.”  
Virgil rolled his eyes.


	3. Bath Time

Patton got Virgil shortly after his discussion with Roman. Virgil was still thinking all of it over. He considered shape-shifting to be younger but he was sure that it would only increase his time of service to this phase of Pattons. He even thought about letting Patton go ahead and give him a bath but he wasn’t too sure about that. Roman had told him that he had to deal with it, after all.  
Patton hummed as he set out his clothes on the sink. The bath was already filled with bubbles and Virgil was playing with his sleeves in thought. On one hand he could let Patton give him a bath and maybe make this process shorter, but on the other...he’d be naked. But looking at the bubbles and how much there were, he reconsidered.

Patton finished his humming. He was worried that Virgil would drown, but he had said before that he was okay. “Alright, V. You stay safe, okay?” he said and turned towards the door. Virgil took off his jacket, trembling nervously and feeling sick to his stomach,”W-well..you could...it would be um, nice, if..” he put his head down and shielded his face.  
“If…?” Patton turned towards him again, not sure what he was going to ask. Virgil took a deep breath,”Uh..you know, with what you asked earlier and..” he gestured weakly to the bathtub.

Patton smiled and stepped closer in excitement,”You mean you want me to give you a bath now?” Virgil nodded his head awkwardly,”Yeah..but just turn away while I get in and everything..”

“Okie dokie, but remember Virgey, it’s just a body. Everyone’s got one.” he said, turning away. Virgil fumbled his clothes off and was adjusting the bubbles and a rag over his lap in no time. “Well sure, but it’s like, really private, you know? Like the most private thing a person has.”

“That’s a nice way of looking at it.” He turned around and got on his knees for the bath. He was very happy about this,”Oh Virgey, you look so cute with all these bubbles and duckies.” Virgil hugged his knees and sighed,”Uh huh. Let’s just try to make this quick.” Patton hummed and started to wash him off gently, giving him little warnings between each touch and cup of water. He took in the differences that Virgil had. They all had the same starting point when it came to their bodies, but they had changed with each one of their habits that they had over the years. Patton was chunkier and definitely had the biggest thighs and softest features of them all whereas Virgil was pale and thin from staying inside his dark room all the time and forgetting to eat.  
Roman was the strongest of them since he had gone on all of his adventures and had the darkest skin out of all of them. Logan was a lot like Virgil in his fairness, but he did eat a lot of that jam so he was a bit pudgy like Patton but nowhere near Patton's level. They were all consistently the same height, though.

“What do you want for dinner, Virgil?” He asked while rubbing his head with shampoo. Virgil wouldn’t deny that it felt pretty good,”Just whatever..” he mumbled.  
“I didn’t catch that.”  
“Just whatever.” Virgil repeated a bit louder,  
“Well how about tacos? I know you like those.”  
Virgil thought about it. He did like tacos. But he would have to let Patton feed him whatever he made,”Well actually uh, what about chili?”  
“That can work, yeah. You’ll have to help me make sure that it’s not too spicy for you, though.”  
Virgil nodded and Patton washed him where Virgil was comfortable, cleaning his face and hair and then standing up and spreading his arms wide with a towel, closing his eyes. Virgil stood up from the bath and pushed himself into the towel. Patton hugged the towel around him and kissed his cheek making cutesy noises,”Oh he’s so clean now! Clean clean boy!”

Virgil hunched his shoulders which only made him feel smaller to Patton. He blushed but not as much as he would’ve under normal circumstances. Patton left him to dress himself and get things prepared for other things with him. He knew what Virgil liked doing, but not a lot of those things had to do with other people and almost all of them had to do with the internet. And what if his poor Virgil came across something that he didn’t understand?

Virgil came downstairs to the sight of a blanket fort and Patton with his hands on his hips proudly. He turned to him and gestured for him to come. “Come on. Get in.” he said and went inside. Virgil made his way to the opening and crawled inside where there were story books, coloring books and plain paper. They also had a perfect view of the TV.

“I got the Nightmare Before Christmas coloring books here, and the Corpse Bride ones. And I thought that I could read one of these stories to you while you do it or just draw on your own without any lines and we can watch something if you want. I can make popcorn and get you a drink if you need it.” He explained excitedly.

Virgil looked over everything including the books and found Cinderella Skeleton, Sleeper and The Spindle and other things that were similar. They did interest him. He got comfortable, picking the Corpse Bride coloring book in hope to find a page where the guy accidentally poisons himself at the end of the movie. “Something to drink would be nice. Not milk this time, though, it makes me kinda sick if I have too much.”

“Aww, I didn’t mean to give you a tummy ache! I’m sorry. I’ll rub your belly if you want.” Virgil shook his head,”No thanks, pop, just get the drink.” Patton nodded and got out to go get it and Virgil looked over the books to decide which one he wanted to be read. He felt uneasy like he was getting too comfortable with all of this stuff. Maybe he should consider it like a very weird vacation.

Patton returned with the drink but it was in a purple sippy cup. He sat back next to Virgil as he started coloring, looking at the cup. He liked to think that it was just because cleaning a spill in a blanket fort would be a hassle so he took a drink anyway. Tropical punch. That’s okay.  
“I think that uh..this one looks pretty cool.” Virgil said, showing a book to Patton. 

Patton smiled widely,”Oh, yes it does. I’ll go ahead and read it to you.” He started to read the story to Virgil while he colored and would still sometimes genuinely ask Virgil if he knew how to pronounce a word so that at least made Virgil a bit more comfortable. Knowing that Patton didn’t consider him a stupid kid.

The story seemed so long, though, and Virgil had eventually finished with his coloring and rested his head down. It wasn’t too long before Patton's voice was fading in and out until it was gone completely and Virgil fell into a light sleep that inevitably got deeper.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! This story is also on Tumblr where I will be taking oneshot writing requests. https://newblue002.tumblr.com/post/615049876570603520/writing-request-guidelines


	4. Suspicions

Virgil woke up to the feeling of arguing. Not the sound, but the feeling. The tensity in the air, held back tears and overbearing frustration. He went outside of the fort when he noticed that Patton wasn’t there.

Maybe Roman had tried to tell Logan about how Virgil had preferred that they stay in their rooms during Patton's instinct. Logan of all people should have understood though, right? But did Logan ever get embarrassed? Yeah...but it was infinitesimal. 

Virgil followed the feeling and found himself outside of Logan's door. He had never been in Logan's room before and wasn’t sure that he wanted to. He heard people talking inside though.

Through a rough throat,”But can’t we just consider it?”  
Logan. “You know that we can’t at the moment. Every time you do this- why must we always have this discussion?” He said through clenched teeth.  
“I just think-” interrupted by a sob,”th-that we should talk about it more than we do..”

Virgil's eyebrows raised. That was Patton. He’d never seen him cry. He’s heard him cry in his room before, but Patton had wanted to be alone. It hurt Virgil's core to hear him so upset about whatever they were talking about. If Virgil were anything it was a conspiracist. He bet that they were talking about dating each other. Yeah, that would make sense of why Patton had kissed Logans cheek that morning! But why couldn’t they date now? Was it because of himself and Roman? Something to do with the others?

Logan sighed,”Patton, whenever we’re ready I promise that I will tell you. But it will be a long time. It’s not as if I never think about it. I think about it a lot. More than you do, even. You have to trust that I will do that, okay?” his voice had softened by a lot.

Patton sniffled and wiped his eyes as he looked at Logan with a pout,”Okay..but what do I do until then?”

Logan hummed in thought, looking around. “I have an idea. I’ll talk to Roman about it shortly. You just go back and try not to embarrass Virgil too much.” Logan looked around somewhat awkwardly,”What’s for dinner?”

Patton smiled. Virgil could feel it through the door. “Chili...however spicy Virgil can handle.”

“Sounds great. Now go on and..do that.” Logan said.

Virgil shot up and looked around. He needed to get back to the fort! He tried to quickly but quietly rush away but had tripped a couple of feet outside of the door by the time Patton stepped out.

Patton looked over at him and then gasped, going to his side. He didn’t even look like he’d been crying. “Oh Virgil are you okay? What are you doing?” he asked, checking over Virgil and kissing his elbows and knees.

“Oh yeah I’m fine, I was just uh..” he looked around. “Going to the bathroom.”

“Oh, well okay then..I’m gonna start on chili now so come to the kitchen when you’re done. Don’t forget to wash your hands.” He poked his nose and left to the kitchen.

\----------

Logan sat in Romans room at a nice, large table that Roman had made upon Logan requesting a meeting. Logan raised an eyebrow at some of the things seemingly ripped right out of Alice in Wonderland. 

“What is it you wanted to request of your prince?” Roman asked in the way that he did when he was acting or putting on a show.

Logan rolled his eyes,”Roman, this isn’t role play. I needed to talk to you about Patton.”

Roman grinned while pouring some tea upside down. “Oh there’s no need to worry about that! I think you’ll find that I solved everything.” He put a hand on his chest. Logan was about to say something but Roman continued,”I already told Virgil about this whole thing. And I have a little theory of my own.”

Logan was actually interested, momentarily forgetting what he wanted to request of him. “And what is that theory?”

“Well, I think that the way Patton's instincts choose which one of us to pamper is based on what kind of kid he sees. That teenager was shy, and so is Virgil. And whenever he sees a child slaying a dragon, he’s drawn towards me. Remember that time he really wanted to see Deceit and even he didn’t know why? That one kid who had lied about taking an extra sticker!”

Logan hummed,”Yes, that is very intriguing. I’ll be sure to make a note of that as it is extremely plausible. But I came here to ask you to create something for me. Or really, for Patton.”

“I don’t think a new dress will make this go away any faster.”

“No, let me finish. What I want you to do is create a doll. A baby doll. Perhaps one with some sort of psychological connection with Patton's instinct that can tell what Patton wants from it. It should be able to say a couple of phrases and transform into what kind of baby Patton is wanting. Whether that be gender, hair color..anything. Do you think you could do that?” Logan asked him in a very serious tone.

Roman blinked in surprise and the enchantments of his room all faded away into his more normal, yet still very large bedroom. They were now sitting on his king sized bed. He put a hand on his chin. “Well, I guess I could try. It’s hard for me to make things that you guys would like and not just me but..I will try. You really think this will work?”

“I don’t see why it wouldn’t. It would be exactly what he wanted, after all.”  
Roman stood up,”Alright. Out now. I must work.” He said dramatically.  
\-------

Virgil opened his mouth for the seventh time to test the chili being fed to him. He insisted to Patton that he could handle spice, but Patton didn’t want to make it painful for him so he only added a tiny bit of spice at a time.

“Yeah, that’s good.” Virgil finally complied to under-spicy chili. Patton smiled.  
“Oh good.” he put the spoon in the sink and stirred up the chili again. “I’m so hungry.”

Virgil thought that made sense. Patton usually ate a lot during the day but he was so busy with Virgil that he didn’t have the chance to. “Is it about done?” 

“Almost.” Patton hummed.

Virgil bit his lip and hesitated,”So um...Logan, huh? How’s he doing?”

“Oh he’s okay. Just like he usually is. Why?”

Virgil averted his eyes and laughed nervously,”Um..no reason I just..he’s a really nice guy, don't you think?”

“Not always, but he tries. You know how he is.”

“Uh yeah. He’s pretty..” Virgil felt uncomfortable with saying it,”Uh cute, isn’t he?”

“Sure he is! All of you guys are pretty.”

Virgil sighed,”Patton, I..” he bit his nail,”Do you like..is something going on with you and Logan?”

Patton looked up, checking his thoughts,”Mmm no. I don’t think so.”

“Do you know what I mean?”

“Not really.”

Virgil sighed. Patton and Logan would probably come out with it when they were ready. He just hoped that Logan didn’t make him cry that often..  
\-------  
Roman had skipped out on eating with the family, insisting he had a big project to work on. So Virgil was stuck with being fed the chili in front of Logan and looking between the two of them. Patton and Logan..who would have thought? Even Roman wouldn’t be creative enough to make that pairing. Hell, even Remus wouldn’t.

But they seemed so normal. Passing spoons and getting drinks for each other..it ate Virgil alive. “Are you two dating?” Virgil asked a bit louder than he meant to.

Patton stopped feeding him and paused, looking at Logan and Logan returned the look. Then Patton started laughing and Logan looked almost offended.  
“No,” Patton said,”What would make you think that?”

Virgil was embarrassed now. “Well it’s just..you kissed his cheek this morning and..”

“We just care for each other, Virgil. We’ve already tried that type of relationship a couple of times.”

Virgil nearly choked.

Logan continued,”We inevitably decide that we’re not ready to be together quite yet. We experiment at times, but not currently. And whenever we do, It’s none of your business when that is.”

“Oh don’t be so harsh on him, Logan.” Patton pouted.

“Have you ever...tried since I’ve been here?”

Both Logan and Patton shrugged, saying in unison,”Maybe.”

Virgil had no idea how to feel. It felt like he was a kid whose parent started to date his teacher! It’s not like it was his ground to disapprove of their attempts.  
He didn’t get to think about it too much before Roman had rushed in, looking excited, anxious and exhausted at the same time. 

“I think that-” He started by talking to Logan but looked over to Patton,”-I have a present for Patton.”   
And only then did Virgil realize he had his hands behind his back.


	5. Pudding

Patton smiled excitedly,"Really? For me? Why?" He asked. There was a part of him that inevitably felt bad that he didn't have a gift for Roman too, but he decided that he would think of something later. Besides, there was always the possibility of this being a prank.

Roman didn't prank often, and when he did it wasn't unnecessarily mean like how most pranks seemed to be according to Patton. He would just invent a mood-eyeshadow for Virgil so the others could tell how he was feeling easier, as well as it being funny to see the various colors on his eyes. Most of the time it had proven to just be grey, a neutral mood.

Another time he had placed Logan's bookmarks one page back so that he would have to re-read a page whenever he didn't need to. That one didn't have that entertaining of a result, it was just funny to see Logan be confused.

The last prank he had pulled on Patton was giving him a cupcake that had barbecue sauce inside. He had expected him to spit it out immediately, but he kept on eating it and assuring Roman that his ideas were great. When Roman told him it was a prank, Patton happily threw it away. "Oh good." He said.

Roman never wrapped his pranks before though, especially so beautifully, so Patton was excited. The box was wrapped in pink paper and a blue bow.

Roman responded to Pattons question,"Oh I just thought you might like it. It was Logan's idea, really."

That at least settled Virgil's nerves. He had been paranoid that it might've been a jumper for him.

Patton started to open it and looked down into the box. It was a plain white doll. Plainer than anything Roman ever made. He picked it up and as soon as he put his hands on it, it blossomed into what Patton's ideal baby would look like. No definitive gender, a smile on its face, and a dress that looked more like a long shirt with a cloud pattern on it. Its figurative skin and hair were still snow white.

Patton gasped and hugged onto it,"Oh they're so precious! Oh I love them so much! Thank you, Roman!" 

Roman smiled in satisfaction,"I'm glad. It was very hard to make."

Virgil cleared his throat a little bit. "I'm not um..done eating."

Patton still stared at the doll in joy while he answered Virgil,"Oh, you can feed yourself I'm sure. I have to play with them. I'm going to my room if anyone needs me." And then he was just gone.

Virgil huffed a little bit and brought the chili closer to him to eat, looking over to the others.

Logan was giving one of his rare smiles to Roman of all people. "That was very sufficient. Thank you, Roman."

"I'm just glad his ideal baby wasn't some kind of cat." Roman joked.

"Is anyone gonna tell me what the hell just happened?" Virgil intervened.

Roman laughed,"Sorry, did I compromise your daddy time? I didn't realize you liked it so much."

Virgil glared wordlessly and Logan explained,"Well, in order for you to feel more comfortable (and prevent others in the future being uncomfortable) I had the idea that Roman make a doll that would satisfy all of Patton's parental needs. This way we can be comfortable and Patton will have all of his cravings met."

Virgil thought about it for a long while. "What happens to the doll when this is done? Who's going to cook for us?" He figured that he would only make snacks for the baby doll and not meals since it was a baby. Disregarding the fact that it was more importantly a doll.

Roman shrugged,"I assume the same thing that just happened to you. Forgotten until he needs it again. Since when have you worried about eating?"

Virgil stood up with his hands on the table,"First of all, I was not FORGOTTEN. I was just… not as important or fun as that thing you made. Secondly...I don't know." He shook his head. He didn't have a good feeling about this doll. But he didn't have good feelings about most things.

He left his dishes to go and listen through Patton's door and the others didn't stop him even though they weren't sure what he was going to do. It wasn't like Virgil could just barge in. Patton's room made him anxious, after all. 

Virgil started to think that maybe he had just watched too many creepy doll movies. Pattons door was open so it wasnt hard to peek in and see that Patton was putting together a baby carriage while rocking the doll in a carseat with his foot. Multitasking was one of his strong suits when it came to parenting.

He hummed to the doll and Virgil could see the confusion on his face when putting the thing together. "Do you uh, need any help?" He asked.

Patton looked over at him and smiled. That look in his eye was gone. He was looking at him in the way he normally did. "That would be nice, yeah." He moved the parts over to the doorway and then picked up his doll, rocking it in his arms gently.

Virgil put the carriage together slowly while watching him. He was surprised that it was so easy to replace him, was all. It wasn't that he was jealous or anything. Even though he did find himself glaring at the doll. "So..what's it's name?" He asked.

"THEIR name, Virgil." Patton corrected. "They haven't told me yet. I'm leaning towards Pudding."

"Pudding?"

"Pudding. It's kind of like my name but more sweet." He kissed the doll's face.

Virgil huffed a little bit,"Well...can I hold..them?"

Patton looked hesitant and hummed,"Uh...I don't know. Not right now."

"Why not?" He didn't mean to get so offended.

"Oh well uh..it's just that they're really important to me is all. And they're so cute that you'll want to hold them all the time." He tried to explain as gently as possible.

Virgil's face scrunched up a little bit. "I'm not gonna steal your stupid doll."

Patton stopped rocking the doll and looked at him, frowning. Virgil realized his mistake and looked away. "Well..it is a doll, you know? You can't act like it's alive or something."

Patton remained wordless and moved the parts of the carriage away with his foot, closing the door on him. Virgil blinked,"Hey. Patton!" He huffed in frustration and went back downstairs.

He did feel guilty as he felt tears build up in his eyes. Uh oh. That either meant that he was crying himself, or Patton was crying. He didnt know which was worse.

He got his answer as he went down to the kitchen, Logan with his glasses off and hiding his eyes behind his hand and Roman dabbing at his own with a tissue. Virgil let his tears spring free as he looked at them.

"What did you do!?" Roman asked a bit harshly.

Virgils shoulders hunched a little bit,"Well..I guess I told him his doll was stupid."

"Why would you do that?" Logan asked in a small voice at first but then cleared his throat. "Even I know that would hurt his feelings. And it clearly has."

"Well, it'll stop feeling bad when he stops feeling this way...being this way." Virgil said.

Roman huffed,"Well I won't stand for all of this crying and Patton being upset because of your temper tantrum! What if he breaks?"

Logan shook his head,"Roman, that hardly ever happens. It won't happen because of this."

"What? Break? He can do that? What do you mean break?" Virgil asked in a rushed way, wiping his face off.

Logan explained through occasional hiccups,"Well whenever Patton is unexpectedly hurt and he cries then it spreads to the rest of us. Whenever he's expecting to cry then he can limit it to only himself. So whenever he breaks he has no control over whether the sadness gets distributed between all of us or it just focuses on him. Whenever the latter happens it builds up inside until his skin cracks, and it's not a pretty sight. But we don't have to worry about that over you insulting his newborn."

"It's not a newborn!" Virgil yelled,"It's creepy and weird!"

"And yet whenever we thought that of you, we still let you come around." Roman said.

Virgil shook his head, his makeup smudged to hell. “Well should I...talk to him?”

“Well you certainly need to apologize.” Logan said.

Virgil sighed and knew that he was right.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! This is my first fan fiction and I wouldn't mind constructive criticism as long as it doesn't have to do with formatting.


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